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1.01: WELCOME TO THE HELLMOUTH

I’m brand new in Sunnydale, I haven’t quite unpacked
Oh hey Cordelia, Xander, Willow - ugh, who’s this creeper in the stacks
With the great big vampire book, probably bound in human skin
There’s a dead guy in a locker and all they did was cancel gym
Whoa-oh-oh-oh!

Welcome to the Hellmouth! (Forgot my stake!) 
Welcome to the Hellmouth! (Will we be okay?!)
Welcome to the Hellmouth! (Joyce is optimistic!)

Headed to The Bronze and there’s a hot guy on my heels
Talking some trash about some harvest - and is this librarian for real?
Gotta follow Willow to the graveyard, try to keep her from gettin bit
I can’t believe I got sucked back into this shhhhhhhhh
Whoa-oh-oh-oh!

Welcome to the Hellmouth! (I’m in a crypt!) 
Welcome to the Hellmouth! (Luke is big!)
Welcome to the Hellmouth! (To be continued...)

1.02: THE HARVEST

So hey, about that Harvest, well, it seems to be quite nigh!
But first The Master has to finish gouging out this minion’s eye
Turns out WIllow sure can hack, Xander likes to tag along
Giles takes off his glasses and then he puts them right back on
Whoa-oh-oh-oh!

Welcome to the Hellmouth! (It’s Harvest time!) 
Welcome to the Hellmouth! (I can jump really high!) 
Welcome to the Hellmouth! (one girl in all the whateverrrr)

Jesse’s super dead, the vampires made him one of them
And is it possible that Angel’s never even had one friend?!
Anyway Luke hit The Bronze to feed and things were lookin bad
Til I decapitated someone with a cymbal... which was rad
Whoa-oh-oh-oh!

Welcome to the Hellmouth! (It’s Harvest time!) 
Welcome to the Hellmouth! (Will Cordelia die?!) 
Welcome to the Hellmouth! (Thank god she made it!) 

And so did everybody else

1.03: WITCH

Well it’s tryouts week and I’m so excited, I’d really like to lead some cheers!
But the competition is super tight and things are getting pretty weird

Spontaneous human combustion occurred, much to Giles’ delight
If Cordelia can’t see her own face in the mirror, what is the point of life?

In an attic, there’s a cauldron full of something green
And whoever’s doing magic has it in for me
yeah everybody knows that Amy’s mom is a total *ahem*
Better watch out for that witch

Now I’m hella hexed, and I’m feeling wasted - soon I could be feeling dead
But sometimes the only way forward’s gettin
Thrown into the periodic table of the elements

I’ll kick down a mirror, reflecting her own spell right back in her witch face
And she will remain, forever and always trapped in a trophy case

And I really can’t get that mad at her
Cause I also want to be a cheerleader
But everybody knows it’s rude to perform a body switch
Gotta watch out for that witch

1.04: TEACHER’S PET

NA NA NANANANA NA NA, NA NA NANANANA NAAA-AAAA-AAAAH  

Dr Gregory, he believed in me
All of the grown-ups think I’m a lost cause
When was the last time someone didn’t write me
Off to lunch and then, we found him with no head
Cordelia’s screaming, but she’s real resilient
shouldn’t someone be calling law enforcement

I won’t ever be teacher’s pet, I’m really just not cut out for it
Slayers weren’t meant to study entomology
Could somebody please put Blaine on mute?
And wouldja get a fuckin’ load of this substitute
Spinnin her head around on top of her neck
Who’d wanna be teacher’s pet?

NA NA NANANANA NA NA, NA NA NANANANA NAAA-AAAA-AAAH (x 2) 

Teen Masculinity, so prone to fragility
Just look at Xander, puffing his chest
Sparring with Blaine in this regressive  contest
How often it’s been said, pretty girls just make boys lose theirs heads
With their smiles that say “take a chance
on my mandibles and serrated hands”

They all wanna be teacher’s pet, I’m really really just not down with it
Gotta save my friends from a giant (she)mantis
Virgins are her favorite, but she hates bat sonar
sure makes hacking off her limbs a little less hard
It’s been an evening that I won’t soon forget
Who’d wanna be teacher’s pet

NA NA NANANANA NA NA, NA NA NANANANA NAAA-AAAA-AAAH (x 2) 

I’m gonna go home, got some homework
Lemme just put these glasses back where they belong


1.05: NEVER KILL A BOY ON THE FIRST DATE

It seems like I can’t go a week without some ancient prophecy
Tripping me up… (Xander shut up)
Thought I might get to have some fun, but now there’s this anointed one
Threatening to rise from the ashes of five

And I know I should stay focused and the world depends on me
But who can think about that stuff when a cute boy’s reading poetry?

Being Chosen is a thing that’s easy to hate
But I know who I am and I know it’s my fate
You might be a slayer if you can relate:
It’s hard to never kill a boy on the first date, never kill a boy on the first date

Cordelia you’re no threat to me, but Angel’s looking jealously
At Owen - oh no, the secrets they grow
The gang’s all here, we have to go to the romantic funeral home
Where Giles is trapped, with guilt I am wracked 

And I know he’s not my dad, but he still looks after me
Which is nice since no one’s seen my mom since back in episode three

By the way, I’ll wear whatever I want, and Xander it’s uncool
To try to slut shame all your friends just because they won’t go out with you

1.06: THE PACK

||: The pack the pack … the pack the pack :||

Spoken: Hey Buffy, Heard there was a big mess in Sunnydale last week. Word has it there were zoo creatures and teenagers all mixed up. Do you know about it?

Well I was hangin at the zoo on a field trip
Which didn't seem particularly age appropriate
These kids were being rude and I don't know why
Sometimes I wish that it was cool to slay my own kind

Well I watched them head to the hyena hideout
Even though it's quarantined
But this zookeeper he really cramped our style
And wouldn't let us in to seeeee

||: The pack the pack … the pack the pack :|| 

Oh my, a hyena hideout you say? And bullies on the loose?
Buffy that sounds horrible! What happened next?

The razorbacks have got a brand new mascot pig
But he'll be lucky if he makes it to ninth period
Xander's bein mean to Willow and that's not like him
And have I mentioned that Cordelia seems to be absent

Bid a fond farewell to Principal Flutie
Victim of the savage beasts
Then we quick transferred the hyena spirit
Straight into the old zookeep 


He went in head over heels
Hyena finally gets a meal 

from

||: The pack the pack … the pack the pack :|| 

Wow, Buffy, sounds like that zookeeper was a real zoo creeper
I guess like they say, it's the circle of life
By the way I simply love that neckerchief

1.07: ANGEL

I know what I should do: forget about you and walk away
But I know that what I should do and what I want to are not the same

I keep breathing in
You make the rest of the world go dim

History says you’re a monster
but it don’t know you like I know you
You’re fighting it, you’re fighting it so hard
I don’t mean to want you only
gravity is pulling on me
I’m fighting it, I’m fighting it so hard

You’re scared of what you might do that you might find you can’t change your face
But I see what you’re made of what you gave up to keep me safe

I keep breathing in
You make the rest of the world go dim

Your old friends say you’re a monster
but they don’t know you like I know you
You’re fighting it, you’re fighting it so hard
I don’t mean to want you only
gravity is pulling on me
I’m fighting it, I’m fighting it so hard

1.08: I ROBOT, YOU JANE

There comes a time in a librarian’s life
When he has to look his adversary in the eye
And say “Hello Ms. Calendar, scan what you must
But I don’t have to like it”

There comes a time in a Willow’s life
When she meets a mysterious boy online
But something doesn’t add up, so fetch my disguise
What’s this that I’m detecting?

There’s a demon there’s a demon on the internet
There’s a demon there’s a demon on the internet
He’s ones and zeroes just like you’d expect
There’s a demon there’s a demon on the internet
There’s a demon there’s a demon on the internet

There comes a time when the boy Willow met
Is actually that demon from the internet
Fuckin’ Fritz is the worst, and he tried to elec-
trocute me in the showers

There comes a time when a librarian learns
That “technopagan” is the actual term
And Malcolm is Moloch, and Moloch got fried
And oh hey by the by
If that’s not where it dangles
Then um, where does it dangle?

There’s a demon now the demon’s off the internet
There’s a demon there’s a demon on the internet
Computers don’t smell but he’s fried to shit
There’s a demon there’s a demon on the internet
Yeah the demon yeah the demon’s off the internet

1.09: THE PUPPET SHOW

This week is the talent show and if there’s one thing that I know
It’s that I don’t wanna do it but somehow I got roped into it
Everybody else is good at stuff - Cordelia sings (at least sort of) 
But my talent’s best kept hidden
not like, for example, Morgan’s ventriloquism

Why did it have to be
A live ventriloquist’s dummy
I wish that it was anything but that
Cause me and dummies have an uncomfortable past
And I don’t need to bore ya
With the details of my phobia
I just wish that it was anything but that

Somebody’s been harvesting - first a heart, then a brain
Guess a demon needs some organs to keep livin like a human
Sid’s not evil so it seems but Principal Snyder might be
Yeah the jury’s out on that one
anyway Mark the magician went into his magic box
and changed into a full-skin demon and attacked us but we beat him
and then stabbed him in the heart

Why did it have to be
A live ventriloquist’s dummy
I wish that it was anything but that
Cause me and dummies have an uncomfortable past
And I don’t need to bore ya
With the details of my phobia
I just wish that it was anything but that

1.10: NIGHTMARES

Nightmares, nightmares

Billy's in a coma and it's fucking us up
It's gonna get worse unless he wakes up
The Ugly Man's got a strong backhand
Textbook spiders are giving us chills
Will someone tell Laura that smoking can kill?
Count 1,2 … He's coming for you

Nightmares, nightmares
A clowns chasing Xander with a really big knife
Nightmares, nightmares
Willows singing opera in a very bright spotlight
The stuff of our dreams makes it harder to breathe
How we ever gonna get gonna get free from our
Nightmares, nightmares, nightmares
Nightmares, nightmares, nightmares

Giles can't read, he's lost in the stacks
Cordelia's hair is under attack
That cool guy's mom, Xander's clothes are gone
Cemetery comes outta nowhere
The Master got out of his underground lair
Open graaave … How will I save … (everybody from the)

Nightmares, Nightmares
Giles faced his horror in the dark of the night
Nightmares, Nightmares
I turned into the monster that I'm fated to fight
The stuff of our dreams makes it harder to breathe
How we ever gonna get gonna get free from our
Nightmares, nightmares, nightmares
Nightmares, nightmares, nightmares

1.11: OUT OF MIND, OUT OF SIGHT

Well it’s May Queen season, not like Cordelia needs a reason
To act like royalty
Somebody no one can find appears to have an axe to grind
With her literally

Her boyfriend Mitch was attacked
By a floating wooden baseball bat
Her best friend Harmony was pushed down the stairs

By a girl unseen
Yeah she’s mad and mean
Since she went out of mind
And out of sight

Well poor Miss Miller, thank god you didn’t kill her
Now on to surgery!
Now you’ve tied up Cordelia, if I listen hard I’ll hear ya
Catch you in drapery

The suits are here to take you in
Cordelia’s acting like a friend
Sorry Marcie that we made you fade

To a girl unseen
So mad and mean
Since she went out of mind
And out of sight

1.12: PROPHECY GIRL

 
Well I heard the words you said, but I can’t make them make sense
I face nightmares every night, but now I wanna run instead

From what will come, what will come
If our world belongs to them
What will come, what will come

Just keep fighting, just keep fighting, that’s what I’m supposed to do
If I just keep fighting, just keep fighting, maybe I’ll believe it too

When you sat there on the bed, looking scared looking ahead
Couldn’t shake the things you’d seen, and it woke me when you said 

What will come, what will come
If our world belongs to them
What will come, what will come

Just keep fighting, just keep fighting, that’s what I’m supposed to do
If I just keep fighting, just keep fighting, I think that I’ll believe it too

Fire rising in my bones, I can free us from his hold
From the fear that keeps us bound, I am standing, now I know 

What will come, what will come
If our world belongs to them
What will come, what will come

Just keep fighting, just keep fighting, that’s what I’m supposed to do
If I just keep fighting, just keep fighting, know that I’ll believe it too